Be a Little Selfish
I think we all hear a lot about self-love, self-respect, and a general focus on giving oneself a stronger, more fulfilling, positive narrative. With the current state of things, it's a great focal point.
The picture for this post says a lot to me. The words are important: Patience, Belief, Self-forgiveness, Practice, and Acceptance. What also speaks to me, is the state of the body itself. Many of us, so busy with work, children, school, dieting, etc., close ourselves off to the person NOT listed within all of that: Us. Me. You. (Dieting doesn't count because that's work and often times we don't do it simply for ourselves. Which you should. No one's opinion of you is more important than, well, you.)
Anyway, curling up, protecting, seeking security- this is a pose I think we take mentally since we don't often find ourselves in a moment to embrace the fetal position. Adulting is hard; it's BRUTAL. Sure it can be fun, awesome, rewarding, but it's all very complicated and painfully absent of juice boxes and nap time. If our brains remain in this position, prioritizing others and work and blah, blah, blah... We forget ourselves.
What does that give us: doubt, discouraging thoughts, disappointment in where we are and where we are not. The little things eat away at us. Instead of praising how far we have come and all the amazing things we are doing, we look in the mirror and think:
'I can't believe I was late to work'
"I need to lose weight. I've let myself go'
'I can't walk out of this house without make-up'
'I let my husband/wife down this week'
'I never make enough money'
And this list goes on, to the smallest things, the tiniest problems... When in fact, we should be meeting ourselves where we are and celebrating what we have become every day! Do you realize what you have accomplished?! It's CRAZY what we do everyday! We wake up, get out of bed, and make the responsible decision to go to a job where people depend on us (if you are self employed, you still depend on you and it can be just as hard to go to work). We get other small humans with flailing limbs dressed and ready to start their own day which is separate but also still your responsibility. You make good and bad food choices but we have to eat to live so really, this is a big deal too! You are fueling a magnificent, sentient machine that carries us to places we do and do not want to go, doing things we do and do not want to do. We. YOU are incredible. These things are obviously the tip of the ice berg we know as us, but that only further proves my point. We are complicated, we are messy, we are strong, amazing, and brilliant. The beautiful thing about being human is we are a host of good and bad things that come together and create you and I, the individual.
Things could always be better. What we should start saying is things are pretty swell now, AND they will only get better. We need to elevate our words, out loud, so that we walk with them; live with them. You are doing a great job. You are teaching your children strength. You're weight? No matter where you are with that, you are at someone's goal weight. So you are always achieving there. Sure, you may not be where you want to be, but every small step gets you closer, and until then, you are beautiful and awesome. You are doing everything you can, and now you need to work on allowing it to be enough.
So to wrap this up (I know, I tend to ramble), self love DOES take patience, self-forgiveness, practice, belief and acceptance. It's hard, at first, but if we make a promise to ourselves to take to heart at least one of these things each day- if we say out loud that it's alright, no, NECESSARY, to be a little selfish, then you will slowly change your narrative. You deserve to love yourself. You have done and will do amazing things, but we want YOU to see that. All of us already do. ^_^